Tag: gaylife

The resilience

Resilience

Looking inward isn’t always pleasant. In fact, it often hurts. It’s like diving into a stormy sea, holding your breath as you descend into parts of yourself you’d rather ignore. Lately, watching my colleagues celebrate weddings, newborns, and seemingly complete lives, I’ve been asking myself: “And where am I going?” I see single colleagues lost in bitterness, stuck in the past, or too angry at life to move forward. I don’t want to become like that. But today, as I notice the first white hairs on my chest and in my beard, I ask myself what I’ve truly built over these 40 years. I’ve spent years supporting friends in their relationships, watching them grow together while I remained on the sidelines, waiting for a love that was never returned. I often feel useless, like my life has been stuck in limbo, never really evolving. And yet, maybe I have built something—something invisible to the eye. I’ve built a deep capacity for listening, a quiet kindness, a discreet strength that shows up even when everything seems to fall apart. But today, that’s no longer enough. I long for true love: a love full of passion like fire, burning without destroying; free like the wind, bringing freshness and newness; solid like the earth, providing support and grounding; adaptable like water, always finding a …

The vulnerability of people who are resolved

Photo By Christian Sterck / Unsplash

Discovering that we are gay is often described as an inner journey that confronts us with who we really are. For some, this journey is gradual; for others it comes as a sudden revelation. Regardless of how quickly or when it occurs, the act of acknowledging one’s sexuality marks the beginning of a journey that is as personal as it is universal. It is a journey that inevitably brings us face to face with the world of relationships and intimacy, a world that, although often celebrated in the media, is far more complex in reality. When I came out to a friend of mine, her response struck me deeply. She told me, “The world of relationships is difficult for everyone, but I can’t even imagine how difficult it is for a gay person.” That comment resonated within me, not because I was seeking sympathy or understanding, but because, in those few words, there was an undeniable truth: being part of the LGBTQIA+ community brings with it unique challenges. These challenges are not only about finding a partner, but also about how we approach ourselves and others, often with the shadow of the uncertainties that society imparts to us. We live in a society that, despite advances, continues to impose heteronormative norms and rigid expectations of what is considered “normal” in relationships. …

If you ever thought you were gay, then ...

If you ever felt gay read this

LISTENING TO: If I ever feel better – Phoenix I remember that night well, the night I turned 21. I had just come home from one of the coolest birthday parties ever. I had booked a night at a disco with a pool. Needless to say, before midnight I had ended up in the water with half of my guests, and the new CK clothes my mom had decided to give me were all ruined from too much exposure to chlorine. I loaded Telépopmusic’s “Breathe” onto my CD player and started thinking about life going by, four o’clock in the morning, what I had done and what I wanted to do and be. And I remember very well that there was that little voice, deep down … that I didn’t want to listen to and that I said to myself, “no to this thing I will never give space and it will never be part of me” just ignore it and I will be like everybody else. At that time I was dating more than a few girls in college, yet I felt something was wrong, I was watching all the people close to me starting relationships, kissing and being happy. I somehow got off to a good start, at least at that time, but then when things started to get …

Coming Out

coming out as a gay guy

I don’t think I ever thought about the whole process of coming out until it was right in front of me, like an unspoken deadline looming over my head. The funny thing is, no one was waiting on it but me. I had built it up into this massive, earth-shattering moment in my mind, but the world wasn’t in a rush for me to blurt it out. That’s the thing about coming out—it feels like it should be this climactic event, and sometimes it is, but most times, it’s not a party or a grand announcement. It’s a quiet realization, more internal than anything. People talk a lot about the pressure of coming out, and yeah, I felt that too. It’s this odd weight, like you’re carrying around a secret that grows heavier the longer you hold it. But the truth is, no one is demanding it of you. There’s no rulebook that says you have to come out at a certain age or tell certain people. You can tell everyone, or no one at all, and both options are perfectly valid. When I first came out, I expected everything to change. I thought it would be like crossing some kind of invisible threshold where suddenly, everything would make sense, where my identity would be fully realized, not just to me …